Anyone feel like this


No matter what I do I’m always gonna be stuck I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m gonna be doin in the future I’m scared to see the outcome I don’t wanna be a failure even tho I already feel like I’ve fucked up everything I’m always mad idk y but I know at who every time I look in the mirror I see the person I hate I’m lost I feel no sense of direction I feel like life is already done for me I feel like I can’t offer this world anything because I’m so useless it feels like no one cares or takes me seriously even tho I know they do but if they didn’t I wouldn’t mind either cause then my emptiness would be justified I hate myself more than anyone can ever know and I don’t see it changing I think about my existence and it makes me sick when I feel that way just swallow the pills my doctor gives me it should help right go ahead be on so much medicine to the point where I’m so numb I can’t even cry anymore I don’t want therapy cause that person that I’m talking doesn’t care on deep level it’s there job to talk to me another patient on there pay roll I want love but I can’t find anyone that love who will ever love me the same way back I have a heart it’s filled with passion but all my mistakes and failures have driven my passion away I’m always walking on the edge with a voice in my head telling me to fall of it I walk the line between insanity and normalcy but I can’t get to being normal it feels likes there’s a brick wall that never ends no matter how far I walk the line I try to climb up but it gets higher with each step higher I climb I lost this who I have loved more than anything I miss them and wish to be with them but I’d have to let go of this world and to the people that love me am I coward for wanting to be at peace instead of this mind that is never satisfied I try to tell myself hold on it’ll get better I have told myself that for years and it’s still the same maybe I’m less fortunate in the luck of the draw with the cards I’ve been felt but there are many others who have been dealt a worse hand than I so what’s the use in complaining so I sit silently self isolated from everyone alone because I don’t want anyone to see how bad it really is I don’t want there fucking sympathy I want relief not through drugs not through alcohol and not through medicine I want to be happy with my normal brain but I really don’t know if it’s possible I don’t have anymore hope but I keep pushing forward cause I’d rather leave this world naturally and miserable than to become the coward I don’t wanna be I’ll keep pushing forward even if I’m never happy that way no one can say I lost my fight even though I lost this fight a long time ago I’m alive to spit in the face of my mentality that wants me to kill my self one I die of natural causes it’ll be my final fuck you to the evil that plagued me I don’t know where life will take me but know that this mind set isn’t gonna get the best of me it may not be the best reason but it’s the reason I’m still alive today and will be as long and fate wants me here I don’t know my purpose but very few people do and my fight has already ended im patiently waiting for the day I win my self made war does anyone else relate

Average rating 5 / 5. Vote count: 1

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Please complete the required fields.

Leave a Reply

You do not need to fill in the Name field.