why cant i be an individual? my mind is so easily swayed and i hate it so much. if wish i was more solid in my beliefs. my lack of backbone is beyond embarrassing at this point. being so easily swayed is actually disgusting because i literally dont trust myself.
I was in a very similar state like this when I was younger. At the moment it felt like I was helpless and would never feel like I was my own person. I can just say some things that helped me then and even helping me today. Don’t consume so much media about controversial takes all the time every day. For example, if you use tiktok a lot it can stop you from having your own personality because of the harsh rules of cancel culture and what you are and aren’t allowed to believe. This may seem bad but don’t immediately trust information that is given to you. Take everything with a pinch of salt, except maybe from people you trust. Become more confident in your interests. Find anything you like to do: painting, drawing, photographing, reading, watching documentaries, watching true crime, a show you like to watch. Anything you can be passionate about, and have opinions about. Just let yourself indulge in it. Surround yourself with content about it, research it, do whatever. Let yourself have your own opinions on your interest, then strengthen them. Even if you see someone else say something, think to yourself ‘That’s their opinion I can have my own’. You can exist alongside someone else and have different opinions than them, that’s perfectly okay. You need to think about reasoning more. When you have an opinion on something, think why you have it. Don’t let it merely be ‘because I like it’ or ‘just’. Give or let yourself know the reason for your opinions so that when you share it with others, you don’t get pushed around, instead you can be confident in your answer. I’m not sure if this will help at all, but I’m much happier where I am today because of these principles. Let me know if it helped you 🙂 -a stranger