The hardest part of losing a loved one to suicide is not the sorrow and sadness. It’s what comes after that. It’s realizing that they made suicide an option. You know it’s out there! And that’s scary. It’s not something you hear on the news anymore! It’s something that happened to someone who you could touch, you could talk to you could feel and you loved. It’s like they opened the door to this possibility! And that’s the scary part. You know it’s there. You know it’s an option. And yet you have to convince yourself that it’s not the right one. It’s not the solution. It’s not the wise thing to do. But yet, your loved one chose this path. Knowing it’s an option doesn’t make us crazy or suicidal (for the most part). It just creates a new perspective of the world. A dark one, but yet a real one.
Thank you for putting my feelings into words. I have been trying to describe what it feels like so I can at least understand what it is I am thinking, and you have helped me.