I have been shamed for my love of being alone for almost as long as I can remember. My mom is very much extroverted and doesn’t understand that saying things like you need to cure your introversion or trying to get me to care about what people think and bend to there whims is painful to hear and do. I’ve always been easily divided from social norms after all I am autistic, but she and now many others constantly tell me I’m wrong for this and I should want to seek approval and social settings. The truth is I just love being alone and doing my things. I feel I should be allowed to wear what I want, think what I want, and be who I want. Others may judge me but that never really bothered me until my mom started projecting her embarrassment on me. she just can’t stand that I don’t feel the need to indulge in petty gossip or follow what’s expected of me 24/7. It’s not like I’m not anxious im diagnosed with general anxiety disorder im just immune to social rules, but as stated ones have been bogging me down lately. I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE. I fucking love it!!!! Wheneveer anyone else can see me I can feel paralyzed whilst I don’t care about the opinions of others somehow the idea of them being able to perceive just bugs me and makes it harder to do basic actions like eating, doing homework, etc. I don’t want to have kids or be in a relationship I just want to be on my own and do my own thing. I don’t need any cclose-knitfriends and ive always been comfortable with maybe having a few people I chat with and that’s that. The world around me, however, is continuously telling me lack of wanting to socialize is bad and needs to be cured and I cant figure out why. When I’m alone and free of all social constraints and the perception of others I swear my depression is cured XD. not but you get what I mean it makes me feel happy and free and honestly is when I get the most done. Because of this my next year and college after this summer break ill be getting a single dorm. I know its overpriced, and my parents aren’t the biggest fans of the descion (they’re worried I would get lonely:/), but I feel this will make me happier and more productive and I wish people would fuck off. I’m happy being alone stop worrying for me or acting like im desired for it.
Idk this was just a dumb rant I desperately needed to get off my chest so I’m throwing it to the void if anyone read this I hope your day is well, and remember to go to bed at a decent time tonight!
You’re not alone (no pun intented). I also thrive off scarce human interaction. I am able to think clearly, freely, and without boundary. If someone doesn’t understand this just because they live a different lifestyle, that is their own problem (they are ethnocentric ) and I’d hope you don’t get shamed for it. If they do shame you for it, just remind them that being an introvert is part of your personality, and you are proud of it.