living in a constant overthinking


What is the main reason to be living?
There is no really a point to really care about when it comes to try to find a reason to be living in this world, this is just a hateful place to be in, too much to worry about. No one asks to be born and its not anyones fault but if they just dont want to keep trying anymore. We are supposed to chose what we want, we are supposed to be free to decide about.

I swear I have tried really hard to be the best as possible. ive done many things to keep everyone happy to make their expectations come true but its never enough and yeah they will always say that we dont have to be perfect and whatever, they liea about it because they always want you to be this and this just because why not right?

At this point of my life I feel like im just done with everything, i dont want to keep trying or keep listening to everyone saying that it is okay, that we dont have to fill someone else´s hole, that we have to be our own version. Thats bullshit, why would i want to stay in this shitty wolrd where its living things will make me feel like one of them, like if i was trash. And maybe im a piece of trash but ive tried harder and i am the only one who knows how much ive risked my ´´happiness´´ my mental and phyisical health just because its for a good, for me to be good and better.

I hate this wolrd, and no, im not being dramatic or just trying to get everyones attention cause thats the last thing i would ever want. The people here are hateful. since i was a kid ive been compared to others like if i was an object. They have played with my feelings making me feel bad and then just act like if nothing happened.

Yeah i might be just a teenager going through some hard stuff or just some phase that everyone goes through when theyre young but ive lived almost 18 years already and ive seen a lot of shit in this world and personally is not in my plans to live that longer if this is the place and way of living.

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