My biggest regret


I had seen him on of the first days of freshman year and I thought “if guys like that go here I’m screwed.” Little did I know what an impact that one man would have on me. Fast forward to junior year, I had one class with him, all I could do was stare. He was so beautiful, so underrated in every way it was honestly annoying. I soon found out that he sold “flower”, I was a stoner at the time so it was a perfect plan to get to know him. I followed his Instagram first to feel out the vibes, he started noticing me a bit so I added his snap. For context, he had a girlfriend at this time who was apparently crazy and naive little me wanted to show him I was the better option. Obviously not a great start..but I was just so obsessed with everything about him I couldn’t help it. He was super tall with jet black hair, green eyes, chiseled face and a muscular build. If that wasn’t enough he had his own apartment in high school, wasn’t popular, impeccable style and we had similar music taste. I started small by sliding up on his stories, dressing nicer at school, posting more on my own story etc. Finally senior year I asked him to hangout, I almost threw up actually going to his place and talking to him. I was so nervous I just kept talking about stupid shit and complimenting him. A couple weeks later he un-added me on snap (later found out this was bc he gf was jealous of me) but at the time I was pissed. I decide to let it go and I don’t think about him for a little over a year. That’s when I saw his older brother on a dating app..yes I knew who he was and yes I started going after him. A part of me wanted to make him jealous and the other part wanted to end up liking the brother more. The younger brother started coming to parties with us, every time he would get super drunk or invite a girl. It was weird seeing this messy side of him, he was so careless and destructive. I started to realize , I couldn’t date his brother bc I would’ve lost my virginity to him, it was too much (he was also an ass). The older brother and I ended things but here’s where it gets even crazier. While we’re taking about ending it he gets a call from the younger brother. He says he’s stuck up in the mountain with some girl and her car died. I’m already with the brother so I offered to drive up there and help. I drive up there, they’re both drunk and the keys are stuck in the car now. I fish the keys out with a hanger (no help from the guys) and we go down the mountain to get jumper cables. As I’m driving back up, my car slides on black ice and we hit a wall. Guess who wasn’t wearing their seatbelts? Yep the drunk people in the back. The airbags went off on the girls side and the younger brother slammed into her when we hit the wall. I ask everyone if they’re okay and the girl says she can’t feel her feet, she starts freaking out. I make the younger brother hold her head on my jacket while we wait for an ambulance. The older brother calls his parents to come pick us up, I’m freaked out at this point but I still make conversation with his dad for some reason. After that the older brother ghosted me and I have tried to reach out again to the younger one (yes I know I am dumb thanks). I’ve never actually apologized to him for all the shit I pulled but now it’s been so long and I would just look stupid with how many times I have tried to talk to him just to have him ghost me to. It’s now one of the things I’m most embarrassed about from my younger years.

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