An old ebook I found on Happiness and Success! Enjoy!
Contents:
Forward ………………………………………………………………………
Chapter 1: Introduction ………………………………………………..
Chapter 2: Happiness ……………………………………………………
Chapter 3: Success and how to achieve it ………………………
Lets Get Started…………………………………………………………….
Forward
We have written this eBook as a means to help our fellow human beings. We feel we have something we can add to this already dense subject and we feel we can add something that has not been so openly written about before nor been so easily available in clear points.
We love learning from different people, different cultures and different countries. On our life journey we came across so many beautiful people and learnt so many wonderful things. We met people from all walks of life and all religions. We found that all religions teach similar or if not the same things and it is the people within religions that are wrong not the religions.
We came across a Sufi Islamic saints who taught us that we should love everybody and everything. We must see through the eye of mercy and love, and that we should forgive everybody. We were taught to have tolerance and be patient in times of hardship by remembering god and being thankful. We were also taught that Muslims love and follow all prophets from Adam, Abraham, Moses and Jesus all the way to prophet Muhammad, may god’s blessings and peace be upon all of them.
This eBook is filled with advice and inspiration that has come from many great people before us. In this technological day and age where everything is in quick demand life seems to be long, hard and stressful. Everything is constantly changing and everything is moving on, we must have everything now and we must throw out everything we don’t want. We must have the latest gadgets and clothing and throw out the entire yesterday craze.
The fast changing pace of life begs one question: – How to be happy and successful all the time while everything around us is constantly changing?
We have gathered all the inspirations and advice that we have picked up on our journey and travels and written this eBook. We can only give the credit to those who have guided and helped us. Who have been there for us through thick and thin, through our lows and highs, have supported us without judgement, have been patient with us and have unconditionally loved us. We believe this eBook will stay relevant as time moves on.
This eBook is meant to be read every so often so you can benefit from the writing. We want you to be constantly aware of the points we have mentioned in this eBook so you can become a more happier, more successful person.
So with our experiences and inspirations from the people we’ve met, we hope to help you in your day-to-day life by reading this eBook and that is our intention.
Our eBook is for advice and guidance.
Chapter 1: Introduction
Do you want to be Happy and Successful in the things you do? ………
I’m glad you do and in this eBook we are going to show you how you can be happy and successful in the path you choose to take to reach success.
Now we are not saying that is going to be an easy thing to accomplish and if your looking for an easy way to success, let us tell you there is none. If you really want to see some real success, and some true happiness, then there is a path to it, and if you think that path is a long and hard one, then you are thinking too far ahead.
In this life we are only living in the present, in this moment in time, that’s all we have. Should we think about the future too much then we are wasting our time, as we have no control of the future. Thinking of the future, and what will, may or can happen is a waste of time, as things never go the way we think they will. That shows us the future is outside of our control, so stop thinking about it, as it only brings problems our way.
If we are living in the past then we are wasting our time as the past has already gone. Those happy memories or the best times of your life have gone, and you cannot bring them back. Why waste your time thinking of the past when it has gone, what you should keep from the past are the lessons you have learned and leave the future to God as it’s not in your control. That should take some burden off your shoulder, and only leave you with the present moment.
“You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” Johnny Cash
Now, we are living in this moment in time and we should be thinking, how can we make the most of the moment we are currently living in?
Time is one thing in the universe that is always moving and it waits for nobody! Think of time as a conveyor belt, always moving and you should be there to put something good and positive on it every moment that goes by. That means thinking for each moment of time and thinking about how to utilize each second of time.
Take everything one-step at a time to make things easier for yourself. If you think about the whole journey of reaching success, it will be too much for our egos, and we will get discouraged before we even start. If the path be a long and arduous one then take it one step at a time and think about the next step not the whole journey, keep telling yourself it’s only one more step, it’s only one more step, up until you reach your goal. That makes it a bit more of an easier journey.
This way we can make steady sure progress and not quit. We are tackling a big mountain but taking it in bite sized pieces, step by step the whole mountain will be consumed. If you look at the whole mountain and see the size of it you will turn away and quit, just take it piece by piece. It is ok to rest, but go as much as you can, then rest and repeat the process. This way we can reach our goal.
Most people think that happiness only comes when you are successful, and money will make you happy, so happy that you will be the happiest man on the planet.
Yes, it may for a short period of time, but there are many multi millionaires and billionaires out there who are unhappy, even with all their wealth and worldly possessions so they resort to alcohol, drugs, women and other bad things to get away from their problems.
But what they find is the problems get worse. These things they take and do only cover the problem, and make you forget for a short period of time, but the problem is still there and comes back again and again, and they continue to cover it up for a short period, which is foolish. Tackle your problems head on and confront them. From there you can work step by step to overcome the problem.
It will be painful, but painful for a fixed time after that these problems wont bother you, as you would have fought them off.
They also want worry about their possessions and want to make sure they never lose them, and this keeps them so occupied and paranoid with keeping them safe, that they forget whom they really are. The also become greedy, can you believe it with all their wealth they won’t give to the poor, this brings out so many problems that affect them and their character.
To give to the poor is a great act of kindness and to give more when you are wealthy shows humbleness and good heartedness. To give when you have nothing shows the highest level of manners and shows you are on the right way.
So how can you be happy all the time?
This is just one of a bunch of questions we will be answering throughout this eBook.
Chapter 2: Happiness
How many of us in this day and age are really happy? We all have so many problems in our life from work, family, friends, finance and the many other things causing us problems. We are unhappy with how our life is unfolding. We are unhappy with our life and to change it and we must do something to make it better by putting in the effort.
In the normal world happiness and success are tied together, but for how long is up to each individual as we are all created different. We have different strengths and weaknesses. Most people achieve success and are happy for a short while then become jaded and fall back into unhappiness.
We can all play happy, but real happiness comes from the inside not the outside. By this I mean real, true happiness comes from your heart, from your belief, not from your possessions and worldly material. So, no matter what your situation in life you are happy, with worldly success or no worldly success you are happy with what god has granted you.
We are eating food, we are living in a home with a bed, and a roof, and we are clothed. We have everything we need to survive, and we have things that people in poor countries don’t. Should we really be so unhappy and ungrateful?
To be happy with every situation we are in, we should see everything as coming from God. God is in control of your destiny, and if anything bad happens to you, you should see it as coming from God, as a test. It happens to see if you can be patient in the face of adversity, and still be thankful and remember your lord. If anything good comes, be grateful and thankful to you’re lord. Just think back to your past and think about how all those things came into place, to get you to where you are today. How did they happen? Who was in control of your destiny?
When we as people see things like this then we can be happy with our circumstances and situations and we must remember that God says everything must come to an end, all bad things must come to an end, and all good things must come to an end. So have hope if you are in a situation you don’t like knowing that it will come to an end, and good times are on their way. Without hope, it’s like there is no life. Always have hope don’t give up.
Some of us may not believe in an almighty power and that’s ok as you are allowed to follow any way you wish and are happy with. God allows you to follow any religion you like, as in most religions like Islam and Christianity, they teach us that you have a choice to follow the religion we wish.
No religion is wrong it’s the people within the religion that are wrong. Take Islam for example (the religion that is most talked about and associated with evil) in this day and age it is seen as a bad, evil religion but its not. It’s a peaceful, loving religion and the devil terrorists have given the religion a bad name, when they are the bad ones.
People see the evil the terrorists are spreading and the destruction and pain they are causing countries, governments and people, and then the people blame and trouble any Muslim they see in the street shouting abuse at them like they are the evil ones. They are wrong in doing that, as those people are the innocent ones, and the ones who our anger should be directed at are the terrorists, not the religion of Islam or its innocent, loving people.
We must unite as humans and not give into the agenda of these evil terrorists trying to split us all up. We must unite and go about our daily lives and show we are not afraid. They want us to be afraid and not go out and enjoy ourselves. Lets all go out and live our life to the fullest and enjoy everyday, that’s the way we fight these terrorists.
So how can you be happy with difficult situations and issues?
We as people cannot control anything outside of our power like other people or destiny. The only thing we can control is ourselves.
There are many things that we do not like, and there are many things that bother and annoy us. That’s ok we are human, and we all have the same issues but to handle them better and without anger or frustration, we must learn to control ourselves.
Tolerance towards things you don’t like is what keeps peace and harmony.
So if there is anything that annoys you, you should look inside yourself and ask yourself why is it annoying? Then learn to control yourself and respond with kindness rather than anger.
Sometimes it is difficult and it almost always is but we have to try and take it step by step. So if we get angry say 10 times a day lets try to control ourselves once in the day for a week or a month, so we are angry 9 times during the day instead of 10. Continue that until you can control all 10 things or however many, and do it at a pace that is fitting to you. Make sure your always improving yourself.
Don’t be the same person today as you were yesterday, as you would be wasting your time. Make sure you are better than the day before and always improving.
“We must be like leaves in the wind, whatever way the wind blows the leaf blows with it.” Sheikh Mehmet Adil Al Rabbani
This way we are happy with whatever happens in life.
Now this way of controlling ourselves can be used in many ways. If we have a bad habit people try to stop that habit straight away and fail, habits like smoking, diet and many other things. This happens because they try to stop a habit that has been going on for years in one day. It does not make sense.
To stop a habit like smoking you must do it in a way that will work. So if you are smoking 10 cigarettes a day you must have a plan to smoke 9 a day for a week or a month depending on how strong your will power is. Then you would do 8 for a week or a month and so on until you come all the way down and are ready to make the final jump to stop.
Now we are not saying that this is easy. None of it is but we must use our will power to stop and that is the real struggle.
When success is granted, people buy the best for themselves and that’s ok. They buy Ferrari’s, big houses, other fast cars and then they get bored of those things and buy another car thinking it will be better than the last car they bought, and get bored again. This cycle repeats, and does not bring happiness to the heart.
To be contempt with what we have we should not get comfortable in luxury. We must stop chasing worldly possession and be happy with what we have. We must look to people worse off and not people much better off to be happy. So go and do things like helping the poor, staying in cheap hotel rooms or get back to a place where it’s not as nice as what you have, and spend some time there. Then once you do go back to your luxurious life you will appreciate it more.
I once read a story in a Sufi book written by a Sufi master called Sheikh Nazim Adil Al Haqqani that teaches us to be happy and to stop complaining and in that book was a very nice story that read along the lines of: There was a women who lived in a small house on a farm where she had a lot of different animals. She would go to this Sufi master and always complain that her house is too small. So this Sufi master told her to bring the cows from the farm into the house and so she did, then he told her to bring the sheep in also, and so she did, then he said the horses as well, and so she did. Then she started to say the house is full and there is no space to move. So the Sufi master told her to now let out all the animals, and once she did she said, “wow look how much space I have, my house is nice and big”.
Happiness comes over time. It comes from us controlling ourselves not what we don’t have control over. Remember we can only control ourselves.
You must be strong and confident and know that god has created you in the best form and given you enough capability to get so many things done. You can do anything you want in this world and you should know that. We must always remember that god has granted us so much strength, but we must not be proud and arrogant with it, and show it in the wrong way. Keep it hidden from people and remember you can do whatever you want. Be humble on the outside but remember on the inside you are a lion with so much power, you can achieve anything.
People may say that you cannot do this, or achieve such high levels of success, and they say all this because they have not reached any success themselves. They may try and discourage you by shouting abuse at you through their anger and envy.
Someone once said that if a dog barks at you and you bark back to the dog people would think you’re insane; it’s the same when a person is saying bad things to you. You should see that person as the dog, and not bark back because you are better then that, and you are a human not an animal like them.
When climbing your journey to success its better not to tell anyone, as it can bring out jealousy or negativity towards you. Its better to stay quite and achieve your success and that will speak for you.
When we are granted success some people become proud and cocky with what they have achieved. That is very off putting. Some people forget their friends and family and are arrogant with success. This is not the right way, and to stop this we should remember that all this was allowed and granted from God, and it could be taken away when god wills also. This should keep us thankful to our lord and grounded.
Do the best in everything you do, and make sure you are happy with it then you can always say, “I have done my best” and leave the rest to god. Be nice, kind and humble and people will like you. Be arrogant and proud and nobody likes it. Do you like anybody like anybody that is arrogant or proud?
The 16 Ruinous traits of the ego that keep us unhappy: –
- Anger
- Love of this physical world
- Malice, hatred
- Jealousy, Envy
- Vanity, Conceit
- Stinginess, Miserliness
- Avarice, Greed
- Cowardice
- Indolence, Idleness
- Arrogance, Pride
- Ostentation, Showiness
- Attachment
- Superiority, Self-importance
- Heedlessness and Laziness
- Anxiety
- Depression
If we had some of these under control and fought them off, our character would be on the way to happiness. That’s when we will start becoming more sincere and people will see that and be attracted to it. You will stop criticising and complaining and you will be more helpful to your fellow humans.
It is these traits we must fight to achieve ultimate happiness and it is these traits that bring about all our problems. We must work on them and fight them off to achieve that which we have been running after, happiness and success.
Chapter 3: Success and how to achieve it
What is success?
This is a question that means so many things to so many different people. The reason that may be, is because we all have different lives and have experienced so many different things. We have been through so many different struggles that may only be unique to us. We have all faced so many different situations and circumstances. We all have so many problems. We all have our own stories to tell.
All of these points together bring about different goals and dreams within us. All of these bring out different ideas and thoughts of success. Not everybody wants the same thing you do. Just look out there in the world, some people dream to start a family, for some to be doctors, engineers, lawyers, for some to be free in their own countries, for some to open their own store, for some to be CEO of a top company and for many to be very wealthy.
To be happy and contempt is a big step in achieving success as it brings about good feelings and good energy. It helps make the journey a more enjoyable one and will not leave you in a situation where you make reckless decisions out of desperation to make a quick buck. You will be calmer and can make better decisions.
When your happy and contempt you can then focus all your energy on starting your journey to success and you will have plenty of energy to get up and do the tasks at hand.
Many people buy loads of educational pieces on motivation, or visit motivational speakers paying hundreds, if not thousands of dollars over a period of time to try and see if they can find a way to becoming rich. Some even tell you to do certain practises every day to keep you motivated. But why are you wasting money?
All of these speakers just give you that self-belief, confidence and loads of motivation through their skills, and make you think you can do anything in that moment of time, which you can with all the motivation they have helped bring out within you. Then when you go home, and wake up the next day you are demotivated and lose that energy.
Let us tell you don’t spend your money. Instead of paying all that money and spending your time there with them you could have been well on you’re way to starting your own business and investing that time and money into your business.
If you ever want to achieve something in life you just have to GET UP AND DO IT. You will feel lazy and keep saying tomorrow, and if you keep doing that then you are a loser, and will delay achieving anything. In those moments, when you are lazy and say tomorrow, that’s when you need to get up and make a start.
If you cannot do it today how do you expect to do it tomorrow? If you cannot do the tasks appointed for you today, then how can you do all of tomorrows tasks and todays in one day? There is a time appointed for everything.
Save your time, save your money and JUST GET UP AND GET STARTED that’s the best advice you will ever get from anyone. You will thank us later.
Lets get started
You must know these 3 things:
- Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe it can achieve
- You must be willing to sacrifice what you want now for what you want later
- You must have a Burning Desire to become successful
You must have an idea of what you want to do. You need to have direction and a plan of where you want to go. Do not put a time frame on when you want to be successful as it only comes from hard work and will be granted to you when your ready.
There was once a classroom full of young kids and there was a professor from a university there who was conducting some research. The professor asked the kids how many of them knew what they wanted to do when they are older. Around half of the class put their hands up, and all gave an answer, with some saying we want to be doctors, some saying lawyers and so on. So around 20 years later the professor came back to the now young adults, and what he found was that those who knew what they wanted to do achieved it, and became the doctor, lawyer or whatever. But those who did not know what they wanted to do did not achieve the levels of success of those who had direction and knew what they wanted to do.
What are the characteristics and habits of being successful?
Taking control of your life, and control every situation rather then letting it pass by.
Once that moment has gone you cannot do anything anymore, so that moment has been wasted. You cannot blame genetics, circumstances, conditions or anybody else for the moments passed by, you can only blame yourself. Be responsible and don’t react to every thing in a bad way. Once you’re in control of yourself then you don’t waste energy on things that you have no control over, and spend it on things you do have control over.
To control every situation we must have the knowledge and skills to make sure we utilize every situation that comes our way. We normally let good opportunities pass by, and regret them later on but what we need to start doing is to take every opportunity that comes our way.
We need to be mature and in control of ourselves to do this. We cannot let our mood, thoughts or anything else get the better of us. Remember we can only control ourselves.
We need to do a self-analysis of ourselves everyday. Sit in a quite place and look at yourself from the outside and examine yourself. Ask yourself – what am I doing that’s good? Am I in control of my reactions and myself? This could be reacting to anything like a slow driver in front of you today on the way back from work, somebody annoying you or whatever. Listen to your conscious, it cannot lie to you. If it says good, you are in control and doing good things then carry on but if you feel like your not doing good, and not doing the best you can then you must change.
To change we must take everything step by step, and tackle each problem head on, never pushing it away for later. That ‘later’ will never come.
We humans are created between angles and animals. We have a good side and a bad animalistic side. Which ever we feed will grow and become the dominant one. But we have a will power, which angels or animals don’t have.
This means as human beings we are responsible for our own actions.
“Our behaviour is a condition of our decisions, not our conditions”
Stephen Covey
Take this image above for example; this is a perfect demonstration to show you your choices in choosing your response. It’s better to stop and think before acting. It’s better to see everything coming as a test from god. That will then help you respond in a pleasing, controlling way.
If you really want to progress, eradicate No’s and Why’s from your vocabulary. There should also be no ‘if I could have been’ or ‘should have been’, this is an excuse and does no good for you. It’s never to late to get up and start making progress. Take control of your life and every situation. The only thing stopping you is you.
Picture your success first and then have a defined path to getting there.
There is no such thing as thinking or dreaming too big. Make sure you have big dreams, and know you can get there and achieve them.
You need confidence and self-belief. Find them within yourself.
Take building a block of flats for example. Every detail is taken into consideration and everything is planned and drawn up with many revisions and re-designs. Everything is put in place on paper, and discussed countless times with so many different professional people like architects, builders, plumbers and many others. Every room is planned, and every material picked and tested. Then once everything is in place then they lay the first brick.
It’s the same with our dreams and goals. We need to know where we want to go, and we need to have direction. We need to have a path defined to get to our dreams and goals. We need to know ourselves, and our weaknesses, and constantly keep improve them so we can always keep moving on the path to our dreams and goals.
First thing first create a personal mission statement. Make sure you are honest about your qualities and character, then write all those things down. Once your done, assess those qualities and anything you don’t like, you consciously try to change over a period of time your comfortable with. Those qualities that you do like work on them if possible and grow them to become a better person. This should help you gain a step onto the ladder of achieving your dreams and goals. Make a plan of what you want to achieve everyday, and stick to that plan.
During this process we should never lose our integrity, our ethics, our morals, our self-belief and our confidence. These should be the foundation of our character. What we are doing here is perfecting our character by eliminating our bad traits.
Think of yourself as a tree with a strong trunk, which is your character built up of the points above, and then think of the branches as our characteristics. Any bad characteristics are wild branches among the tidy branches, which are our good characteristics. What we are simply trying to do is keep the tree tidy, by clipping, and fixing our bad characteristics, and making them good ones by consciously trying to change them over time.
Once you have set your goal and know where you want to go you should then write your goal down and visualise yourself there, enjoying the reality of your goal. Don’t get lost in that dream as you have still yet to achieve it, so remember yourself.
Define your path to your goal. Set smaller goals in order to reach that bigger goal. Now sometime you may need more smaller goals then you think in order to reach that bigger goal. So it’s vital that you stay humble and take information, help and advice from those around you in order to guide you back on the path to success. It’s okay if you have to do this job or that task to get the means to reach a smaller goal.
On a big piece of paper you should have a goal or dream written down on the top of the paper. How to get there only you know, so make sure you have clearly laid out the path to getting there.
For example say to want to become a lawyer. You would need to go to university, but to get there you need money to pay for tuition and accommodation. To get that money you need a job and if you’re in school, you need a part time job. You then need to calculate how many hours you need to work to earn enough to pay for your tuition, and then you need to plan how many hours to study to get the grades you need etc. Once you have the money and you’re in university, you then plan how you will get top grades and pass each semester, and the year, and so on. Have the plan clearly laid out and stick to it to make sure you get to your goal.
People who have a clearly defined plan get to their destination, and get there in a way that they expected, which makes it feel good and deserving. Those who have no plan wander lost not achieving much.
Now that you have your personal mission statement and your plan to get to the goal laid out in front of you, you can move on to getting there.
To get to your goals and dreams you need to make sure you make the most out of the time you have available each and every day. So you need to know how to manage your time in the best way.
For this you need a lot of discipline and to get there you need to make sure you fight your laziness and do the opposite of what your low level desires ask. All of these things are part of our ego, which we have to fight.
The 16 Ruinous traits of the ego: –
- Anger
- Love of this physical world
- Malice, hatred
- Jealousy, Envy
- Vanity, Conceit
- Stinginess, Miserliness
- Avarice, Greed
- Cowardice
- Indolence, Idleness
- Arrogance Pride
- Ostentation, Showiness
- Attachment
- Superiority, Self-importance
- Heedlessness and Laziness
- Anxiety
- Depression
We all are humans and have these issues within us, we all have a ego and overtime we can work to fix these issue to become better people for ourselves and for others.
Ask yourself if you made the most out of the time you had everyday and managed all those tasks that you should have been doing? By fighting off your ego and laziness where will or could you be?………
In a better position than you are to today?
So we must fill our time with the important tasks we need to do to get to our goals, and stick to them everyday. You will feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction when your task list for the day is complete.
There are so many ways to manage our time and we should choose the best one that works for us. We could use notes and checklists, calendars and appointment books, apps, social networks or any other method that works for you.
Once you choose your method you should make sure you prioritise your tasks and schedule them in such a way that there is time to relax so you can go into the next task fresh. So to do this make sure you don’t pile all your heavy tasks together but space them out to make it easier for yourself and fill each space with a lighter task. Prioritize your tasks making sure you get your important tasks done in the day and fit the lighter tasks around them.
While doing this you must make sure to remember to look after yourself. Eat the best foods, drink the best drinks and make sure you rest. None of this is important if you are not well looked after, and at 100% all the time.
You must not focus on work all the time but have a balance, and having a balance is the most important thing. You must spend time with work, family, god and finally yourself.
I have heard a saying that there are 24 hours in a day, 8 of those should be spent working for a living, 8 for your family and 8 for god – to worship him, or 8 hours for us to rest.
To get the most out of each task we do, we need to make sure we have excellent people skills, excellent negotiation skills and we ourselves are great people, with great character and good discipline. All of these things we will come across in our path to success. We all need to communicate, negotiate, and give a good impression of ourselves in all matters.
Improving our skills
How many of us see a situation we don’t like, and then go in trying to offer help and advice without understanding the full story? We have all done this before, and it is not the right way to do it, as the issue you think you understand and are trying to resolve makes things worse.
How many of us have been in a conversation or have been doing something that has our attention, and then somebody comes in, and interrupts and we lose our temper and tell them to get lost?
Some of us have, and that person could have come in to tell us something important and urgent, but due to our reaction they left upset and you find out you missed something you needed or wanted.
How many of us jump right in to arguments and conversations without knowing the full story?
How many of us jump in to defend one side without understanding both sides?
How many of us take sides to gain that persons approval without thinking about the other side and being fair?
That is because we do not understand what is going on first. We do not understand both sides of the party, we do not understand the situation and we do not understand the whole story.
I have seen this with many people. They come in and attack the person who a few people say it is. They don’t stop to think, to see if these people are speaking out of anger or have something against the person. You cannot trust a person who speaks out of anger. They don’t try to understand the whole situation and investigate. We need to stop and think!
How many of us stop and think, and try to take in the whole situation and understand everything without jumping to conclusions? Yes, a few.
To think for every moment gives us honour.
Now to understand the other person or the whole situation we must really listen, and listen with sincerity. We have to listen to the whole story and then stop to understand what is going on.
People in this day and age only want to talk about themselves, and not listen to everybody else. People are only interested in getting their own points of view across and not caring about yours. So just be there to listen even if they don’t want to listen to yours, be the one of service, as service is what gives you honour. Your reward is in the next life.
Once you understand the situation, then you may give your solution, or recommendations or even better your advice. That person will really appreciate your help.
In business we must understand the terms stated in the contract and understand every detail before we agree. We must understand what the other party wants and how they state it in the contract, and then bring our terms to the table and make sure they understand our terms. Once we have our terms laid out we must negotiate them into the contract, remember you need to go for the win/win.
In every task we must make sure we go for a win/win situation, and most people today just want to win and don’t care about anyone or anything else.
People say, “They win, you lose, who cares. If it’s not you, its them. Win at all costs. Make sure it’s you, and not them”. This is the thinking and attitude of today’s world.
We must always look to get a win/ win situation. This means that there is a mutual agreement, and both sides of the party are happy with the terms of the agreement. This is the higher way.
Why would you want to go for anything else, like today’s thinking of it’s me and not you! This is a low level of thinking, and this does not show good values and character. It turns people away from you and leaves a bad taste in their mouth.
This can cause problems as they could tell people what you’re like. and that could cause business to suffer as it may fall upon the ears of the person you may do business with. It may also reach many other people who could be potential customers and that could cause a dent to the business.
The worst thing is when that kind of attitude is shown to your employees. When you boss them around, and do not understand and appreciate them. You may lose their trust and respect and that could cause them to turn away from you, to do their work half-heartedly and that could cause your business to crumble.
You must do the best you can in everything you do, from small tasks to big tasks and everything in between. If you can do the best you can in everything you do, then that is the best habit you can pick up. It will bring you so much peace knowing you have done your best and could not do better. Once your customers see that in you, you will very successful.
Your clients will stick to you as you keep them happy and satisfied. You will be happy with your work. You know you have done a good job if you would want to keep the work you have created. If you did the best you could in creating a piece of art for a client, and would really want to have it in your home then you have done a good job. If you’re an expert salesman, teacher, or consultant and would really pay to go to your own course, then your course is a good course.
To be the best person you can, who does everything to the best of their ability and who always goes for a win/win situation is successful. The best way forward is that way, and it can draw and attract people to the contagious good habits, causing you and your business to flourish.
Sometimes you may not be able to go for that win/win situation because the other side if being unfair, or they are not trustworthy, or they are taking you for a ride. Then you must be wise and pick up on what they are doing and then close that deal as soon as possible.
You must be aware, and make sure that you understand that some people out there are bad people trying to cheat you and make a quick buck. Make sure you are not the person to cheat or be cheated. Be fair but firm.
That win/win means that both sides of the party must be happy and both sides of the party feel like they have won and got the best deal.
Say there is a car salesman, and you want to go buy a second hand car from him, and this car you want to buy is $2500, but you have $2000. You know that the salesman got this car for a price less that stated, and he will make a profit. They always leave room for negotiation, and even if they make $2000, that is a good profit for them and a good discount for you. So, you go and inspect the car not looking to happy, and pick out the smallest of problems, which sometimes you have to do to get the best deal. Even if it’s a very good car and you know the car is worth the price, you still try and pick faults.
Then you state the problems to the salesman, and say well this car is worth around… Now, when stating a price, start low, not too low to be rude, but something like $1800 knowing that this is a good car, but you need the best deal for yourself also. The salesman will say, no way, this is worth the price stated, but for you I can do $2400 taking into consideration the small issues you raised here and there, and that’s the best price. They always play hard but you have to be strong also. You say no, its worth around… and stick to your price of $1800.
Now the salesman will say no way your crazy and will say that it’s a great car and back up his price as much as possible. This is where you need to feign disinterest and be ready to walk away, even if it’s a great car. When you are ready to walk away that salesman will chase you and give you more of discount to tempt you and that’s where you can get the best price, when they are in your hands. You may get that car for $2000, which is a great price for you and for him, which is a win/win situation.
There is no rule for getting the best deal or a standard method, it all varies and is different to each situation and circumstance.
We need to continue as individuals to better ourselves and always learn more and more. We need to continue educating ourselves and we need to keep an open mind to see things for that they really are. We need to have discipline and guidance. We need to practise these points we mentioned throughout this eBook. This way we can improve step by step and reach our goals. We need to continue to be the best people we can every step of the way.
We also need to spend some time with our self and look after us. Many people find many different ways of relaxing and spending time on themselves. Some like to ski, fish, race around racing tracks in sports cars, golf, running and exercise – which is one of the biggest things to do.
Some of the biggest and most famous millionaires and billionaires have a schedule they stick to everyday and that schedule has time slots allocated for them everyday.
Three of the biggest hobbies for these people are exercises like running, swimming, gym every morning, yoga and meditation.
Meditation is one of the best things we humans can do. Let me tell you why!
Meditation takes all your focus away from your stressful daily life by you focusing on a certain point, that point can be any religious deity you worship, the name of your lord or a figure in your religion. When you focus on the point you choose, then that will take all the burdens off your shoulders for as long as your focused on the point and that will bring you peace and happiness.
At the start focusing maybe hard and you will get distracted every few seconds and that’s normal. We have to go through that to get to a level where the distractions do not affect us anymore. So everyday for 5 minuets to start with, you should go to a quite place where no one can distract you and spend that time focusing on one point and blocking out this world. Over time you can increase your meditation time and have longer sessions. You get better over time providing you do this everyday. If you miss days you have to start all over again by that I mean the distractions will still be there like it’s your first session. Consistency is key.
This will refresh you and give you a good start or end to your day, and it will make you calmer and happier which will affect you and your behaviour in a way you cannot imagine. It teaches you that true happiness comes from the inside not the outside. You choose to live in heaven or hell.
Benefits of meditation: –
- A calm mind
- Good concentration
- Better clarity
- Improved communication
- Relaxation and rejuvenation of the mind and body
- Lowers high blood pressure
- Improves mood and behaviour
- Improves the immune system
- Increases the energy level, as you gain an inner source of energy
- Anxiety decreases
- Emotional stability improves
- Creativity increases
- Happiness increases
- Intuition develops
- Problems become smaller
- Sharper mind
- Meditation can bring about a true personal transformation. As you learn more about yourself, you’ll naturally start discovering more about yourself.
- Greater confidence
- More focus and clarity
- Better health
- More mental strength and energy
How to be happy and successful is a book that really looks at finding true, long term happiness and success. In this day and age happiness is short term, and linked to other factors that are uncertain, and if these factors are not in our life we cannot be happy. We look at how to be happy with every situation and circumstance we are in. We look at how success is achieved and what steps we have to take in getting there. We will show you how happiness and success are really tied, and not how they are perceived to be tied.