The other side of the long-distance friendship.


I have had a friend since the start of my college. We have been friends for more than 5 years now. So last year out college ended and although we used to promise that we´d stay together, we couldn’t. She started working last year and I started preparing for some other exams. Initially we were cool about it, because we thought that’s life, it won’t always go as planned. When it was covid she used to wfh, we talked back then just fine. I was literally busy with my studies but I always made time on her days off so we could catch up and talk about things. But after her office started, I realized we don’t talk for a month straight and then I call her and then she tells me she’s busy and will call back when she’s free and then she never calls back. After a few more days, mostly on Saturday nights I try to call her but she either does not pick up or if she does she doesn´t has much to talk. I had been ignoring similar behavior for the past 2 years (almost), but things have become hurtfully frequent now. She literally never calls, never asks how I am doing with my exams, never wishes me luck.
There was an issue with one of our college friends who works in the same company as her, during those days she used to call me everyday, more than once at that. When things got messed up with her roommate (who was also her classmate in college and my friend too), she called me then too all the time until things got resolved.
I don´t want to feel it but I can´t help feeling that she calls only when she needs to rant or needs an advice. I had a really really depressing phase a few months back and I messaged her but she didn´t reply so I called her and she didn´t pick up for a few days and then on Sunday when I had almost fixed my own crap she called back and talked like I had never called.
I don´t really need much, just a tiny reply that I am busy rn and a call if you keep ignoring my calls at a given ‘busy’ moment. Is it too much? Am I being stupidly sensitive? I keep feeling stupid feeling all of this alone.
But really, she was the only friend I had and the only person I could call. I think I´ve already lost that.
The least I can ask is to not pretend like anything hasn´t happened.
You know you don´t pick up my calls anymore, messaging is a thing of past. I understand that you might not want to share anything about your life anymore, and that you are too busy to give a single damn about my exams and my life, but can´t we not pretend like we are still close anymore? Or am I the one feels we are not close anymore?

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One thought on “The other side of the long-distance friendship.

  1. Anonymous

    Is there any lack of communication?. Did you tell your friend you are not fine with her ignoring you. People are just stupid sometime and they only realise when someone points their ignorance.

    Tell her how much her behavior hurt you.

    If she still doesn’t give a crap, what the use of this relationship. Your not your friends emotional trashcan. A relationship works only when there is both give and take form both sides.

    No one can be so much busy that they cannot even give a simple reply for days.

    Pick yourself up. Tell your frnd you are not OK with her behavior. If she still ignores you just call it an end.


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