To be heard

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It has been this weird feeling in my heart since many days now. I don’t really know what it is. It’s just been gloomy and sad and I wanna escape. I look around but there is no door that opens to peace. I know things have started afresh, and everything slowly has started to align, however, it’s just me and my sorrows packed up inside my heart, awaiting to be freed. What’s funny is, I did do everything that would get me out of the miseries I suffered in the past, and today I stand with no-one to stop my growth, no one to pull me back, but still there is emptiness that I cannot get over of, an emptiness I cannot explain.

There have been so many quotes and life lessons that say if you speak out your problems and want people to hear it for the sake of temporary consolations, it only makes you vulnerable and makes them thing you are a nuisance. But what happens if I still wanna be heard and consoled, without being said everyone has problems, we have all been through it, etc. Of course life isn’t a bed of roses, I never said it was, but sometimes you just need someone to tell you about you only and not compare you with the rest of the world. Yes millions have faced worst than what I have, millions have gone through the same, and a lot others are passing it through centuries and I get it, I need to be strong – but not everyone deals with shit the same way, every individual is different. It’s not the situation I am talking about, but the ability in which one copes up with the situations they face.

I’m so worn out being compared to others and being told how I’m trying to focus everything on me and being selfish. Like if you do hear me out properly for one day and understand what I seek, I guess I’ll not have to beg for the same everyday. I’ll not have the urge to be heard and to cry every second.

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1 thought on “To be heard

  1. OceanGirl

    I haven’t killed myself yet because I’m worried about what would happen to my dog….she’s 8.
    I realized how unimportant I am to the important people in my life (my friends)
    Needing help and receiving it only to realize the people helping are resentful for having to do it
    I want to isolate and stay busy but I won’t have the energy to maintain that routine for long
    I think about dying….but my dog Is what stops me
    I think about traveling but, I worry the nomadic lifestyle will leave me in a constant state of instability
    I almost died 3 years ago, I sat in the hospital…with no emergency contact to call…
    I must have been selfish all these years putting all this responsibility on my friends
    I never asked for their consent…..and truthfully they never gave it…
    My father’s deathaversary is soon ……6 years and 7 birthdays later
    I want to walk into the Ocean as the sun is setting……

    Reply

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