So I am writing the first love experience. I met a guy in the online. fast forward, He introduced himself as US Marine. I have dated him for 5 years, no video calls yet purely calls and text only. I am starting to doubt him, I start to ask video calls cos I wanna take it srsly and we start arguing over and over for the same reason. Then I finally come to my senses where I said okay cool, I am gonna look up for u. I become desperate, I started to gather some information and asking the police station in their area, which later on I did not push it through. One day, He disappeared which breaks me so bad, I lost myself, I ended up in the hospital. I just love him this so bad. I started to overthink that maybe he died in the war since he is a soldier according to him. its been a year passed and still I am looking for him. I can’t move on. I started to see someone too, but in my head He is my man. after 3 years passed I am still looking for him and this time, I gut a hunch that I found him but it is different from the guy that I saw in the picture. Until One day, it confirms, he is pretending someone. I finally found him, yet I am still looking for the guy in the picture. its been 6 years now and still I love the guy in picture. I have date some men yet I am still looking for the guy in that picture. He is always in my mind though he may not know me. Who knows maybe he is dead by now. It is true FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES. now I am stuck with my own shit. it may looks like not big deal to anyone of you, however, that is not how it works to other people. so I am writing this down to at least ease the thoughts of him.